She came home from work one day, looking rather disgruntled. He, wondering what he’d screwed up this time, asked (somewhat nervously), “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t understand people ’round here”, She lamented. “Some of them don’t have two coins to bless themselves with, but God help you get their attention, never mind their respect, if your blouse or your bag doesn’t have that label on it!”

OK, dear readers, hands up. How many of you expect the next line to be, “And when am I going to get a bag with that label on it?”

Nope. Didn’t happen. Sorry to disappoint you. But if you’ve been here awhile, you should oughta know what a remarkable person She is by now. And just to reinforce the point, there’s the story (and maybe one day She’ll tell it better) of when some of her Las Vegas fifth-graders showed up in class wearing a particularly worrisome set of T-shirts with labels on them.

“What’ve you got those on for?”, She asked.

“Because they’re cool, Ms. A.” was the reply.

“So”, She continued, “you’re telling me that you don’t have any cool of your own, so you had to go out and buy someone else’s?”

Silence.

Well, hey. Think about the last time you walked down a street in these Untied States of America with any number of people on it, or across a school yard or college campus or (shudder) shopping mall. Don’t all those people look like this?

OK, there’s a difference. Today, the advertisements for beer or fashion designers or tractors or whatever are printed on hats and shirts and purses and backpacks instead of on some funny-looking sign.

Make that two differences.

Once upon a time, advertisers paid the guys and gals in the sandwich boards to carry those ridiculous things around.

Today?

We pay the advertisers for the privilege of doing their selling!

Hello?!?

Just to set the record straight. He has no objection to having things with this label or that on it.

Any time those labels are prepared to pay up for the privilege of touting their wares.

- O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2008 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.