Breaking News

Hawaii has seceded from the union.

Don’t get all hyper and start punching buttons on the remote control. You won’t find this news on TV. No need to open a browser to Google. They don’t have this scoop either.


This choice piece of news came to me from perky little Jennifer at T-Mobile.

Jennifer [in a champagne bubble voice]: Thank you for calling T-Mobile. I am Jennifer. How may I help you today?

Me: I will soon be moving from Las Vegas to Hawaii and would like to change my cell phone number.

Jennifer [surprised, but still bubbling]: Oh. You know you are going to have to buy a new phone?

Me: What happens to the year I still have left on my calling plan?

Jennifer [oozing sympathetic bubbles]: It probably won’t transfer over. You will have to buy it out.

Me: What if I just decide to keep this number until my current contract is up?

Jennifer [bubbles subdued]: Ma’am, your current phone isn’t going to work in Hawaii.

Me: Oh? Why not? Hawaii is in my calling plan.

Jennifer [almost no bubbles]: Yes, but you pay international rates for those calls.

Me: I don’t believe I do.

Jennifer [deep breath, slow exhale, forced bubbles]: Ma’am, if you’re calling Hawaii you are paying international rates.

Me [appalled]: Why?!

Jennifer [exasperated, no bubbles]: Because Hawaii isn’t part of the United States!

Me [after several moments of speechless wonder]: Oh? [I may have even snorted.] Since when?

Jennifer [ignoring my question and trying for bubbles]: Because it is not part of the United States, Hawaii is on a different satellite system. Your phone will need a different code than it currently has. You should probably wait until you are actually in Hawaii to do that.

Me: Thank you, Jennifer.

I refrained from asking her if I could speak to somebody intelligent. I just waited until OC and I arrived in Hawaii, then dialed T-Mobile again.

Me: I have recently moved from Las Vegas to Hawaii and would like to change my cell phone number.

Jason: No problem. I’ll have your new number for you in just a moment and it will take effect anytime between now and 24 hours from now.

Me: Twenty-four hours! Will my phone work in the meantime?

Jason: No. I have to say 24 hours, Ma’am, but it usually only takes about 15 minutes for your new number to activate.

Me: Oh good. Thank you. Is there a fee associated with this — or any new equipment to buy?

Jason: Usually there is a $15.00 fee for changing numbers, but I imagine your move has already been expensive enough so we’ll waive it.

Me: Thank you, Jason. Why is it you aren’t telling me about switching satellites and new codes requiring new phones?

Jason [perplexed]: Ma’am?

Me: Well, the last time I called, Jennifer [bubbles inserted], told me Hawaii wasn’t in the United States and I would need to switch to an international calling plan.

Jason: She what?! [laughing] They hire the front line call reps for their voices, not their brains. We do have to switch your plan from Nevada to Hawaii, but everything will remain the same except the taxes you pay. That shouldn’t change your bill more than a couple of dollars.

Me: Thanks, Jason.

Jason: Thank you for calling T-Mobile. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Me: Nope. That’ll do it.

[We say good-bye again then I hear Jason mumbling] Hawaii isn’t a state. I don’t believe it. Hey, Bill …. [click]


  1. “Hey dude!”

    “What, dude?”

    “I’ve got good news and bad news.”

    “Hold it right …”

    “I’ve got you a date, dude, she’s perfect for you!”

    “You got me a kitten, dude?!?”

    “Well, heh heh, you might say that.”

    “I might just say gimme, dude. But I suppose that’s your bad news.”

    “Yeah. I can’t get her to Hawai’i.”

    “Why not?

    “She doesn’t have a passport.”

    “She doesn’t have a what?

    “A passport. She thinks she needs one to get here. Hawai’i’s a foreign country, right?”

    “Dude, that’s just dumb.”

    “Like I said, dude. She’s perfect.”

  2. ROFL!!! I have GOT to copy this and send it to my daughter! She used to work for T-Mobile – and now works for Verizon! She is going to get such a charge out of this!!! LMBO!!!

  3. So if you got your hands on Jennifer in Nevada she’d be in a state, but surely if you got your hands on Jennifer in Hawaii she would also be in a state.

  4. You have *got* to be kidding! But unfortunately I know you’re not. How does one get to be of an age where you can have a job outside the home as this young lady presumably does and have such poor knowledge of your own country’s geography?

  5. My coworker didn’t know that Hawaii was a State either.

    Somehow, somehow I managed not to rag her TOO much.

  6. You should have asked her about Alaska while you were talking to her.

    “What? Alaska is part of Russia. Wait.. Maybe it’s part of Canada. Let me look it up…”

  7. OC — I’m hearing “those voices” again.

    Nessa — sadly true.

    Melli — glad you enjoyed. I hope your daughter does, too.

    Bazza — and I would be in jail.

    Brooke — we can send them to school, but we can’t make them learn.

    SN — makes you wonder where they’ve been living, doesn’t it?

    Jenna — that was priceless! And a great point.

    Lady — that might have short circuited her last active brain cell.

  8. TLP — if I hadn’t seen the humor in this I might have actually cried.

    Jackie — I have a little voice in my head that stops me from telling people like Jennifer that they really need remedial education.

  9. Oh my, haha, I shudder to think what children aren’t learning in school these days. Or maybe Jennifer was absent the day they learned about Hawaii becoming the 50th state. This is for Jennifer: The State of Hawaii became the 50th state of the United States of America on August 21, 1959.

  10. Isn’t that par for the course…..two calls and you get two different answers? It happens so frequently, it may even be a law. Lucky you had the RIGHT (cheapest and easiest) answer on the second call. I wonder if on the third call T-Mobile would have paid YOU for using their company. What fun!…………Judy

  11. “I have a little voice in my head that stops me from telling people like Jennifer that they really need remedial education.”

    Fortunately, that voice is completely lacking from my own head. 😉 Do you happen to have Jennifer’s phone extension? I’m sure that all of us would sacrifice a couple of minutes of long distance for the privilege of speaking with Jennifer. Just imagine… people calling her every 10 minutes, asking to change their numbers to Hawaii, ALL DAY LONG.

  12. Hang on… why do you have to change your number anyway? We’ve moved interstate and kept the same numbers. My husband even changed phone service providers and kept the same number.

  13. Mumma — never occurred to me to ask for the same number. I needed a local prefix though. I was applying for jobs and I wasn’t getting any call backs. People here are suspicious of mainland numbers. Too may folks make noises about moving to Hawaii, secure jobs and never show up. A local phone number assures them I am here.

  14. Our mobile phones don’t have region-specific prefixes. You can’t tell where anyone is from by their number. It used to be that you could tell which provider people used by the first four digits, but since they introduced portable numbers across providers, that is no longer the case either. Land lines are a different story. Not only do you have an area code prefix, but the first half of the actual phone number denotes your local phone exchange.

    Things must be very different in the States to Australia.

  15. Quilly you do seem to hit the “Bubble Heads” when you call Customer Service. This was way too funny, are you sure you were talking to someone in one for the United States or someone who may have been “Out~Sourced” (You add your own joke here)

    Thanks for sharing, a wonderful weekend is wished for you and OC


    Thanks for the wee prayer that I get home safe.

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