He was sitting at a bus stop in Honolulu on the Friday evening after Christmas. He was trying to keep his spirits up and his laptop dry in the misty rain that was falling, when, in the narrow space between two skyscrapers, there was a burst of light and …
No, it wasn’t a terrorist, or even a Hawai‘ian nationalist.
* * * *
He and She were sitting in the little church on Leeward O‘ahu on the Sunday morning after Christmas. The pastor was warming to his sermon, when, out in the parking lot …
No, it wasn’t a critic.
* * * *
He and She were wandering through Arkansas Sam’s Superstore on the Monday after Christmas. They were looking for blank CDs and wondering what all the commotion had been about over the last few days, when, right in front of them …
No, it didn’t go BOOOOM!!. You aren’t half as glad about that as He and She were. It was a big, loud sign, in front of a big, loud pile of the things. It answered one question. Fireworks are legal in Hawai‘i. But it left another one unanswered.
When did New Year’s Eve turn into the Fourth of July?!?
Really, He said. New Year’s Eve is for eggnog, and funny hats, and staying up ’til midnight trying to stay on your feet and out-holler the 48 people pressed up against your chest hairs while this silver ball slides down a pole in what the TV screen swears is New York, New York. With Dick Clark, who is still a teen-ager. Nobody ever said anything about fireworks.
Then, it hit him. There’s a reason why there aren’t any fireworks in New York, New York on New Year’s Eve. Who the hell wants to sit around watching, or worse, shooting off, firecrackers and stuff when it’s four degrees (Fahrenheit) outside? That match will light your mittens on fire long before it gets anywhere near that fuse. “Auld Lang Syne” is an inside job for cause on the mainland, dude!
Hawai‘i? Hell, it’s dark at 7 every night, and it’s 75 degrees (Fahrenheit) every night. Perfect fireworks weather, man! And you try to hold one of those mainland New Year’s Eve parties with 147 people stuffed into a phone booth, you’ll die of heat stroke, man!
* * * *
He and She were driving home from the Superstore on the Monday after Christmas – New Year’s Eve. She was dozing and He was keeping his eye on traffic when, off to their right …
No, it wasn’t a terrorist, or even a Hawai‘ian nationalist. It was a Hawai‘ian New Year’s Eve party, already in full swing.
She looked at him and said, “Now I know what we’ll be doing tonight.”
“What?”, He asked. “Camp out on the internet?”
“You’d better not”, She retorted. “After dinner, we’ll sit on the lanai with our glasses of wine and wait for the …
– O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2007/2008 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.