Posted by: The Amoeba | December 31, 2007

Happy (BOOOOM!!) New Year

He was sitting at a bus stop in Honolulu on the Friday evening after Christmas. He was trying to keep his spirits up and his laptop dry in the misty rain that was falling, when, in the narrow space between two skyscrapers, there was a burst of light and …

BOOOOM!!

Ccrrrakrrrrrakrrrrrr …

No, it wasn’t a terrorist, or even a Hawai‘ian nationalist.

*     *     *     *

He and She were sitting in the little church on Leeward O‘ahu on the Sunday morning after Christmas. The pastor was warming to his sermon, when, out in the parking lot …

BOOOOM!!

Weeoooweeoooweeoooweeooo…

No, it wasn’t a critic.

*     *     *     *

He and She were wandering through Arkansas Sam’s Superstore on the Monday after Christmas. They were looking for blank CDs and wondering what all the commotion had been about over the last few days, when, right in front of them …

FIREWORKS!!

No, it didn’t go BOOOOM!!. You aren’t half as glad about that as He and She were. It was a big, loud sign, in front of a big, loud pile of the things. It answered one question. Fireworks are legal in Hawai‘i. But it left another one unanswered.

When did New Year’s Eve turn into the Fourth of July?!?

Really, He said. New Year’s Eve is for eggnog, and funny hats, and staying up ’til midnight trying to stay on your feet and out-holler the 48 people pressed up against your chest hairs while this silver ball slides down a pole in what the TV screen swears is New York, New York. With Dick Clark, who is still a teen-ager. Nobody ever said anything about fireworks.

Then, it hit him. There’s a reason why there aren’t any fireworks in New York, New York on New Year’s Eve. Who the hell wants to sit around watching, or worse, shooting off, firecrackers and stuff when it’s four degrees (Fahrenheit) outside? That match will light your mittens on fire long before it gets anywhere near that fuse. “Auld Lang Syne” is an inside job for cause on the mainland, dude!

Hawai‘i? Hell, it’s dark at 7 every night, and it’s 75 degrees (Fahrenheit) every night. Perfect fireworks weather, man! And you try to hold one of those mainland New Year’s Eve parties with 147 people stuffed into a phone booth, you’ll die of heat stroke, man!

*     *     *     *

He and She were driving home from the Superstore on the Monday after Christmas – New Year’s Eve. She was dozing and He was keeping his eye on traffic when, off to their right …

BOOOOM!!

Ccrrrakrrrrrakrrrrrr …

No, it wasn’t a terrorist, or even a Hawai‘ian nationalist. It was a Hawai‘ian New Year’s Eve party, already in full swing.

She looked at him and said, “Now I know what we’ll be doing tonight.”

“What?”, He asked. “Camp out on the internet?”

“You’d better not”, She retorted. “After dinner, we’ll sit on the lanai with our glasses of wine and wait for the …

BOOOOM!!

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2007/2008 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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Responses

  1. last night was like war zone here, too… and it was freezing outside!

  2. My word, polona! It started in earnest just as soon as dark fell here (around 6:30). We went to bed around 10, but I was awakened at 12:30 thinking the sky was falling. Either that or the Gitmo prisoners had escaped and were holding their last stand in Waianae. It’s an annual occurrence, I guess – the weather forecast for O‘ahu this morning was for smoke. Really.

  3. I was certain that they (those creating the loud booms) were bombing the beach and/or trying to blow up the ocean. Occasionally a burst of bright lights would rise above the structure and tree tops and I could tell that it was indeed friendly fire.

  4. I’m betting you two don’t NEED firecrackers to have fireworks! *BOOM*BOOM*!!!

    I remember taking my kids to a Bowie Baysox baseball game – and they had fireworks after the game. I thought this was sO wrong! I wondered HOW fireworks got to be an EVERYday celebration??? When I was growing up they were reserved ONLY for Independence Day! And that’s the way it SHOULD be!!! LOL! Guess it’s like Hallmark and cards… the fireworks people have to “create” the expectation of fireworks for EVERY occassion!

  5. Wine, fireworks and seventy-five degrees, what a life.

    Happy New Years to you ” not native but clearly adapting” Hawaiian people.

  6. Melli, I remember a fireworks display a few years ago, where I passed by a group of people who were complaining that they couldn’t get close enough to suit them. I confess, my first thought was “your friendly neighborhood Army recruiter is just down the street. He’ll get you a front-row seat, sure ’nuff.”

    Wonder how many of the people shooting off fireworks last night will be mouthing off about the Iraq war tomorrow?

    Yep, cooper. And ants, and centipedes, and a bureaucracy that puts Byzantium – or the Beltway – to shame.

  7. Quilly – Happy New Year to you, too. I have enjoyed your friendship (and posts) over the past year and look forward to another year of it.

    I LOVE fireworks ….they are going to have a pep rally next Friday at Lambeau Field for the Packer playoffs….it looks like it will be about three degrees so they do happen in cold weather but then again, it is the norm around here.

  8. I love fireworks. They do them a lot over across the river in the capital. But we don’t have to go into the city to see them.

    You guys are having so much fun, and you ARE so much fun! Hope it lasts forever.

  9. OC, welcome outside of mainland US 🙂
    I live in Icleand, with a lot of freezing dgrees right , left and center and we do Fireworks major style. Quentin Tarrentino and a bunch of Hollywood hotshots came last week just to witness New Year’s here.
    We start 15 to midnight on teh 31st to say goodbye to teh old year and it usually lasts until 15 past midnight to welcome the new year.
    It si our day for fireworks and we do it big style!

  10. Lori, TLP, Penguin – sounds to me like you have lots of professional displays. What separates Hawai‘i from other places in my experience is the decidedly amateur, “do it yourself” take on the fireworks. Minka, you’ll have to tell me how you light fuses with mittens on, if that’s what you do. 😉

    I can hardly wait for Chinese New Year ’round here …

  11. Happy New Year to you, OC & Q!

    Europe celebrates New Year’s with fireworks. Monday night the sky rained fire! (For about 3 hours.)

    And of course the Chinese invented New Year’s a few thousand years ago just so they had a use for their newly invented gun powder. Which ties in nicely to the other way to celebrate New Year’s Eve… firing your guns randomly into the air.

    You can’t beat a good tradition!

  12. Morgan, what goes up, must come down. After one fires their gun into the air s/he should go back into the house and stay there — preferably a two story house where s/he remains on the ground floor. No need to worry about the neighbors, they’ll never know what hit them.

  13. […] earlier occasions, Quilly and I had tended to chuckle about the annual New Year’s conflagration in […]


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