Posted by: Quilly | January 28, 2008

Bathroom Thief

She was in the bathroom. She had just squirted toothpaste on her toothbrush and was about to turn it on she she heard him grumbling. Toothbrush in hand, she left the bathroom and entered the bedroom. He stood in front of the closet muttering. She queried, “What’s wrong?”

He said, “My favorite shorts are missing. I left them right here.” He pointed at a shelf in the closet.

She said, “They are in your bureau drawer. That’s where I put them after I folded the laundry you did yesterday.”

He took the shorts from his drawer and said, “Oh yeah. I remember now!” He stepped into the shorts, pulled them up and fastened them. “I took them off the shelf myself. I wonder how I could have forgotten that?”

She stuck her tooth brush in her mouth and turned it on to keep from telling him. Turns out it didn’t matter because just then he stepped into their only bathroom and shut the door in her face. She stood there trying to figure out how to complain with her mouth full of toothpaste when she heard the shower come on.

Later she accused him of using the missing shorts as a lure to claim the bathroom as his own. He said he never noticed the noisy electric toothbrush sticking out of her mouth. He also said that if she wanted the bathroom, she should have stayed in it.

She will remember that.

And get even.



  1. Why not get in the shower with him and connect on a new level?

  2. Blue, welcome! Actually, She would follow him into the bathroom without a qualm, but he is very conservative and would consider such an act a serious breach of etiquette.

    You know, I think She knows how She’s getting even ….


  3. Hehehe! I don’t know about at your place, but at mine, “getting even” is simply a matter of turning the hot water on (e.g. kitchen sink) while your victim is showering. Refreshing!

    Quilly, “a serious breach of etiquette?” Romance has rules?!?!?!?!?

    (And aren’t you glad I wrote “romance” and not “sex”?)

  4. Ohhhhh… I detect a bit of dissension in Paradise! Quilly? How EARLY in the morning did this infraction take place? Men’s brains click into gear until around 9:00 ya know! You have to allow for that! ducks to avoid flying objects from OC’s direction

  5. Morgan — we have a heat pump. Unlimited and uniform hot water to every room in the house. And sex does not have rules. The bathroom does.

    Melli — OC does spend quite a bit of time walking around in a daze every morning, but that doesn’t mean I’ll cut him any slack!

  6. ohh, that was wicked!
    but i’m sure you’ll get even in no time

  7. Polona — I’m contemplating the many ways ….

  8. water

    pour cold water into container

    sneak into bathroom

    pour over showerer


  9. Quilly ~ remember what the Good Book teaches about Vengeance and who is responsible. Though reading your past endeavors in “The Grown-Ups Wanted Us Dead”, my bit of wisdom will be ignored by you anyway.

    Anyway you must be like Pollyanna and think “Glad Thoughts”


  10. Ah! Getting even is so lovely…

    Try liquoring him up – always works in this house. hehe

  11. Cold — OC says he has no trouble believing you’ve actually pulled that stunt on someone yourself.

    Bill — I will think “glad thoughts” about getting even.

    Blueseaglass — he doesn’t often imbibe. I was thinking about getting some Amaretto though. Since he isn’t a drinker a couple of sips should do it ….

  12. You aren’t allowed to both be in the bathroom at the same time??? What kind of madness is this? The only off-limits place in our house is the loo. Almost 10 years together and that’s the ONLY mystery left in our relationship.

    I’m with blueseaglass on this one!

  13. Ah, Mumma, you haven’t been in America, have you? Whilst I spent a decade Down Under. Getting used to the idea that the bathroom and the loo are separate rooms in the house. Which, in these Untied States, they are not. Unless you’re Bill Gates. And maybe even not then. I spent some time in a fancy hotel recently (somebody else was paying). The bathroom was larger than some people’s houses. And it still had the commode in there!

    Shocking, eh?

  14. i have not pulled the prank
    but rather had it pulled on me
    by my own brothers…
    and some others brothers

    (not the smothers brothers)

  15. Mumma — did you read O’Ceallaigh’s comment? It’s good that he made it, because never having been to your part of the world, I had no idea how you could share the bathroom and not share the loo!

    Cold — well, I have pulled the prank on someone else — a former roommate — and from her shriek I’d say it was quite successful. I don’t know if it was the cold water or the cascade of ice cubes she objected to the most. She earned that retribution for having put a frozen lizard in my bed. OC didn’t go quite that far. I might start with something more tame. I think I still have that magenta fingernail polish around here somewhere …..

  16. Never having been to the States, but having seen enough US TV to last a lifetime, I was aware that the loo is in the bathroom over on your side of the world (which I still don’t understand – it’s so much more convenient our way, plus less smelly). However, since Quilly wrote that the shower water was running, I’d have deemed that perfectly safe for entry to the bathroom.

  17. Interesting. My husband can’t understand why I don’t want him in the bathroom while I’m in there…and it does NOT matter what part of it I’m using. I just don’t want him in the room while I’m in it. But he doesn’t care if I’m brushing my teeth while he’s in the shower, so I do that. Even though we have more than one bathroom.

    So the issue is that he stole the room. That DOES call for getting even. (But really, you can brush your teeth over the kitchen sink, and he can only shower in the shower.)

  18. Mumma — I would deem it perfectly safe, too, but OC prefers privacy.

    TLP — where I had to brush my teeth wasn’t the issue. I had no problem using the kitchen sink. He stole the bathroom. How about, “Hon, are you finished …?”

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