Posted by: The Amoeba | September 5, 2008

Road Worriers

He and She were driving in to Honolulu on the (ahem) Interstate one sunny weekday morning …

He: I’m going to weld 25-foot-long steel beams onto the front of this car.

She (suddenly awake): Say what?

He: I said, “I’m going to weld 25-foot-long steel beams onto the front of this car.”

She: On my car?!?

He: I presume you wish to keep it?

She: Well, duh!

He: Well, I’m trying to help. If I weld those steel beams to the front of the car, we might just be able to keep a safe distance between us and the car in front of us without some yahoo, who’s driving an SUV like it’s a Corvette, cutting in at 70 mph.

She: And we’d also wipe out half the pedestrian population of Honolulu every time we turned a corner.

He: OK, I’ll make the beams retractable. Besides, what makes you think we’d be able to make turns anyway?

She: Huh?

He: Didn’t you see that sign back by the exit?

She: No.

He: It said, “No Left Turns On Kapolei Parkway.” I had no idea you could run out. Do we have a ration card sitting around somewhere, that you haven’t told me about? It could be embarrassing, trying to make a hard turn to avoid SUVs cutting in on us at 70 mph, and being told “Sorry, pal, you’ve exceeded your allotment”. I don’t like surprises.

She: Remind me never to let you out of the house without breakfast again.

He (ignoring the interruption): And imagine the Authorities allowing an entire highway to run out of turns. Yes, I know, though two wrongs don’t make a right, three rights make a left. But that’s no way to manage a transportation system.

She: You know what else three rights make?

He: No. What?

She: A knockout.

   – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2008 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. ROFL! This is your funniest exchange yet.

  2. I love your retractable beam.

    There is a small gift for you if you drop by my blog today.

  3. […] & The Quill Road Worriers September 5, 2008He and She were driving in to Honolulu on the (ahem) Interstate one sunny weekday […]

  4. Oh OC! Quill is so right! (Pun intended) You be careful or there’ll be a knockout! lol

  5. Okaaaaay so I couldn’t resist!!! You two are just too cute! Yea… and funny!

  6. Yeah!!!
    Seen more of those lately!!

  7. Personally, I think it sounds like a great idea.

  8. We are SO related!

  9. Thanks, Brig. We got awhile though before we take the show on the road. Hey wait a minute …

    AmberStar, we’re flattered. Quilly’s spoken for us on your blog.

    Crazycath, fortunately Quilly knows better than to put any stress on the health insurance.

    Melli, I trust it will remain two of us for a good while yet.

    You mean 25-foot steel beams, Jientje? I’m not surprised.

    Doug, SoCal was front-and-center when this topic came up.

    OK, David, now I’m really worried. 😉

  10. Love it! Thanks for the laugh.

  11. […] of drivers and pedestrians here in Paradise (a failing to which your friendly neighborhood Amoeba is also subject). And that reminded me […]

  12. […] there are only so many times that you can get cut off on the freeway at 70 mph by somebody driving an SUV like it were a Ferrari before one’s faith in the existence of an aloha spirit begins to […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: