Posted by: The Amoeba | March 21, 2009

One Saved Planet Rule: Obey

I:

     Stopped global warming!
     Unplugged the energy crisis!
     Brought an end to hunger and thirst!
     Promoted true and lasting world peace!

and even:

     Saved the whales!

by obeying this ONE SIMPLE RULE!!
pop

Learn how I did it!

Can we have an end to all these meshugginah “one rule” ads now? Pleeeeeese?

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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Responses

  1. Ha, What are the “one rule” ads?

  2. Oh, man, Doug, one of us is leading too sheltered a life. I though the “one flat stomach rule” ads were everyplace!

  3. Okay I’m gonna bite at this one. I’ve never heard of one rule ads so can you put it out how ya did it? My mom says: Are we okay or are we near the end? She continues and says OC you make it look like we are in pretty bad shape.

  4. That chart looks like those mass chroma charts of some type of gas… ewww… you ain’t having one of them types of “one rule” moments, are ya?

  5. Thom, tell your mom to relax. Sorta. Q and I thought that the “one flat stomach rule” ads were everywhere (check the weather on wunderground.com and you’ll see them), and in fact they were proliferating into other areas of life. The point of the parody is perhaps best summed up by Grossman’s misquote of H. L. Mencken:

    “Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.”

    The “wrong answer” in this case is depopulating the planet in order to save it.

    However, Thom and Kitty, the “depopulation” point is grounded in both the theory and practice of the science of population biology (alluded to here). Most scientists who think about these things realize that current human population levels are not sustainable, and assertions to the contrary will collapse just as soon as the fossil-fuel subsidy runs out (or the greenhouse effect stews us, whichever comes first). I would like to believe we are not currently at the cliff-face of disaster, but I’d also like to believe that we have the guts to face facts and the wits to deal with what the facts are effectively.

    A belief that, I fear, I cannot sustain so long as the Rush Limbaughs of the world are making millions with their fictions.

  6. Long Live Globalwarming!!! Limbaugh 2012!!!

  7. […] not. For even all this might not reduce your carbon footprint enough to make any significant difference to the rate of anthropogenic global […]

  8. […] to have children, there would be no children.” A moment’s reflection on the current human population crisis, and my response options to this critique shrink to one. “This is bad […]


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