Posted by: The Amoeba | April 30, 2009

That Pig Just Flu By

“Yo!”

“Yo ho!”

“Yo ho ho …”

“And a beer. What’s got you so jolly, Roger?”

“Have you heard about the swine flu?”

“The swine what?

“The swine flu!

“Did not.”

Did!

“Did not!

“Did … what the hell are you talking about?!?

“Whatever it is you’ve got in that bottle. It’s supposed to be pink elephants, not flying pigs.”

“Of course pigs fly. Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of Pigs In Space?

“Omygawd. Gimme shelter from pigs on the wing.”

“You need shelter from the ones on the ground, too. That’s what I’m trying to tell you!”

“They landed already? We’re being invaded?

“Yeah. By pig germs. Influenza germs.”

“Oh! That flu! Why didn’t you say so in the first place? I knew a guy once, he was immune or something, and everybody was mad at him because of it.”

“How come?”

“They said he couldn’t get a grippe.”

“Friend of yours?”

“No. Your first cousin. Last I heard, everybody was worried about chicken flu. How come we’re sweatin’ pigs all of a sudden?”

“Well, I got an idea …”

Alert the media!!

“I’m going to save your life and ignore that. But only ’cause my story needs an audience. You remember this guy Jesus, right? How this sicko comes up to him one day, and Jesus yanks a pack of demons out of him and dumps them in a herd of pigs? And then the pigs all run off a cliff and drown themselves?”

“Yeah?”

“Those demons are getting their revenge …”

“Well, you go ahead and waste your time on your conspiracy theories. I’m more worried about Porky Pig.”

“Porky Pig?”

“Yeah. You know what happens if he gets the swine flu, don’t you?”

“What?”

“Abadeah-badeah-badeah-badeah-ba-That’s all, folks!”

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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Responses

  1. Spare Porky. I can’t stand to listen to Petunia cry.

    And the Pharisees kept trying to tell folk, pigs are unclean!

  2. ROFLMAO…Are Pork and Beans safe?

  3. If the Pork is cooked well then ya don’t need to worry. I ate Chicken during the Bird Flu and still here. Ate Beef during the Hoof n Mouth still here.

    Probably be run over by a bus in the Bus Barns that will get me.

    Dang Newbie Drivers. 🙂

    cheers OC, thank you Sir, You are a Gentleman and a Scholar.

  4. I could never understand that “unclean” business, Q. I mean, the pigs bathed as often as the Pharisees did …

    So long as the trades are blowing and you’re downwind, Thom.

    What you don’t desire, Bill, is for any of them critters to sneeze on you. Appreciate the thought, and your forebearance. My New England “friends” would call me ‘a gentleman and a scallop’. Probably hoping I’d clam up.

  5. […] “Did not.” […]


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