In A Galaxy Far Far Away

“So where were you, bruddah?”


“You went with somebody?”

“No, I traveled alone. Why?”

“You said you went to this Timbuk place too. So somebody must have gone with you. You tryin’ to keep secrets?”

“I don’t think so. Any tabloid reporters follow me around, they’re gonna get bored, and they’re gonna go broke. It’s ‘Timbuktu’. One word. And it’s a real place, in Africa. Deep in the desert and miles from nowhere. But that’s not where I went. I just had a meeting on the mainland.

“Back when my hair was your color, though, we’d call anyplace that was far, far away Timbuktu. Especially if we couldn’t reach it. Like, auntie’s on Maui, but I can’t afford the plane fare, and it’s too far to swim, so she may as well be in Timbuktu.”

“That’s hard on your auntie.”

“Could be worse. She could be in Cleveland.”

“Dealin’ needlework to basketball players? No sale. But I got a question about this Timbuktu place.”


“What happened to Timbukone?”


“Yeah, you know, Timbuk One. If there was a Two, there had to have been a One, right? So what happened to it? Did an army sack it, or a sandstorm bury it, so they had to build it all over again?”

“It went obsolete.”


“Yeah. They gave it a new number when they upgraded it to PS3. Added a couple of levels. It’s more of a challenge to get to the city now, and it’s harder to survive once you get there. Real easy to die of the heat if you’re not careful. And that’s before the guys with the guns show up.”

“I’m sorry I asked. This is getting, like, really far out.”

“You mean, like Timbuktu?”

“No, like a really good ballet dancer.”

Ballet dancer?”

“Yeah. In a Timbuk tutu.”

Enough already …!!”

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.


  1. ROFLMAO…Is your mind this warped all the time? Or is Q becoming a vast influence on you? LOL. I just died laughing at this. 🙂 Aloha

  2. Not only that but there could be a television show based on you all. Funny a television show about people who rarely watch telly.

  3. Thom — I will have you know that Amoeba is the one who has twisted sweet little innocent, naive, unsophisticated me.

    Bill — if you’re looking for Michael Jackson you’re in the wrong place.

    Cooper — Dawg calls us Nick & Nora. Bill calls us Desi & Lucy — or The Professor & Mary Ann. I think we’re Stiller & Meara.

  4. Quilly ~ Remember the Disney film “Peter Pan’, Peter said this to Wendy when they were heading out to Never Neverland.

  5. me thinks someone has been doing too many all-niters. it’s a funny read nonetheless. another good read is katherine dettwyler’s “dancing skeletons: life and death in west africa.” a basic anthro course reader about Mali.

  6. As a matter of fact, you have, Q. Haven’t those antihistamines worked yet?

    Thom, I’m afraid Q’s right. This has been going on for a long time. But at least Q hasn’t threatened to escort me to the local lockup. Yet.

    And we’ll get there at Warp 8, Bill (last line of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, cited to get everybody’s mind off Mr. Jackson).

    So tell me, Cooper. How many of the people on television are observed watching television, eh? Is it that they have lives so we don’t have to?

    Sleep’s overrated, kitty. And you’re right, Timbuktu’s salad days are kinda behind it, eh?

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