Posted by: The Amoeba | August 26, 2009

48 – Or The Case Of The Two Missing States

48Some little while ago now, Quilly, Tilden, and Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba were dining at a restaurant in the town of Friday Harbor (about which you’ll be hearing more in this space, though not today), when we saw this flag flying from one of the eatery’s neighbors.

Standard American flag, we thought. Some patriotic soul is letting his Old Glory fly. Except …

“Isn’t there something wrong with that flag?”

“Looks OK to me … waitaminute, the stars are weird.”

“Yeah. They’re like too regular or something.”

Very regular. Six rows, eight columns … makes 48.”

Forty-eight? Well, where’d the other two go? We lose two states and nobody told us?

As we quickly confirmed, the Union has not lost any states. At least not yet. Some might argue that the country has gained a few, but, the last time YFNA checked, Panic, Confusion, and Insanity had not yet held constitutional conventions, and were therefore not yet eligible to send voting representatives to Congress.

Instead, we realized, that neighbor’s Old Glory was really and truly old. It had flown as the emblem of the American Republic from 1912 to 1959, before either Alaska or Hawai`i were admitted to the Union. When that Union had 48 states.

We never figured out what this person had against Alaska and Hawai`i.

Perhaps he was a jigsaw puzzle fan, and was irritated that, with Alaska and Hawai`i in the mix, you couldn’t complete a puzzle based on the outline of the USA without a whole lot of extra work.

Perhaps he was willing to forsake Alaskan oil if it meant not having to hear about Alaska’s politicians.

Perhaps he’s one of those who is seeking a way – any way – to deny Barack Obama’s legal right to be President.

Or maybe, just maybe, he’s simply related to Jennifer.

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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Responses

  1. Panic, Confusion, and Insanity have voted in every election for as long as I can remember. I just hope Jennifer hasn’t ….

    • Quilly, you’re confusing citizens of California with states of the Union. Not that I blame you …

  2. INSANITY PREVAILS!!! We fly under our OWN flag!!!

    I think I would definitely be investigating further upon my NEXT trip to Friday Harbor. I would have to go see who the flag belongs to and what their reason is! I’m NOSY like that!!!

  3. I love your hypothetical reasons for the 48-star wonder, and laughed out loud.

    But I fly a 48-star American flag too (in Ireland, where it looks even weirder) two days a year. My father was given a huge heavy canvas 48-star American flag on his discharge from the army after WWII, and every year I unpack it and fly it on his birthday, and on the day he died.

    Next time I’ll be laughing as I raise it, thinking of what other people *might* be thinking! ROFL!

  4. […] for the public schools in Hawai‘i. If you’re like me, they’ll make you wish to give the state back to the Hawai‘ian monarchy, and good riddance to bad […]


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