Posted by: The Amoeba | November 19, 2009

Dude and Dude: Luxury Box Living

“So, dude, how’s the house hunting?”

“How should I know, dude? I ain’t never seen a house in camouflage going after big game, and I’m not sure I’d want to.”

No, dude. The big game’s in the house, on the big screen in the living room. Or it would be, if we had a house to put it in.”

Riiight, dude. And just how many decades of Payperblaug do you reckon it’ll take you to make the $570 grand you need to buy a doll house in Honolulu?

“Doll house, schmal house, dude. Luxury box for me, thanks. Hell, I’ll take the whole stadium. Speaking of big screens. Gnarly!

“Dude. I hate to admit this, but I’m impressed. When you go off the deep end, you don’t just jump, you tie weights to your ankles. A stadium?!?

“Same money as your doll house, dude. Even has a roof. Here. Read.

“‘Pontiac Silverdome sells for $583,000 …’ But, dude, the yearly electric bill for that place is probably bigger than that!”

“Well, we’d probably have to be a little careful, that’s all. Turn off the lights when we left a room, no watching soap operas on the Jumbotron, stuff like that. At least until we got the solar panels installed.”

“Man. I’d heard that Michigan was in tough shape, but I never reckoned it was this bad.”

“Well, dude, that’s what happens when you have one money-maker in your economy, and it goes belly up.”

“Like cars, dude?”

“Yeah. Or tourists.”

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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Responses

  1. Particularly good satire today, OC.

  2. Last line: OUCH!!

    It’s that parallel universe thing again. Is “Hawai’i” actually “Ireland” spelled backwards in some lost mystic language?

    • Not quite, Susan, for Ireland had technology until recently, and when that went south (actually, east), fell back on tourism. Speaking of ‘ouch’. Hawai‘i has tossed away everything else but tourism, and now has nothing upon which to fall back but the deep blue sea.

      • Yeh, we fell back on tourism and kept falling—between a strong Euro and being six times too expensive with everything, and the fact it hasn’t stopped raining here since 2002 (something about the wrath of God against the new currency, from what I *hear*), oh and the fact that we’re shockingly rude and our customer service is among the poorest in Europe by a recent survey, plus the food’s terrible, we’re fecked (Irish for ‘doomed’).

        So, Hawai’i has the US military; we’ve got Guinness, and it’s the final round. Who’re you betting on sinking first?
        😉

  3. what are you talking about??? Hawaii has the MILITARY!!! Big bucks from the feds.

    • Actually, Gigi, I thought of that just after I pushed “submit” on my reply to Susan, but (begging your pardon) I thought I’d let the comment stand and see if anyone picked up on my omission. The military is the elephant in the hotel room, isn’t it? About a third of Hawaiian GDP, if memory serves. But when Sen. Inouye retires …?


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