Posted by: The Amoeba | June 21, 2010

Dude and Dude: BOEMed Out

“It’s a bummer, dude!”

“What is it this time, dude?”

“The newest government agency, dude.”

“How can you tell if it’s a bummer or not, if it ain’t even started yet?”

“Well, dude, how the hell else am I supposed to pronounce B – O – E – M – R – E? Huh?”

Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation, and Enforcement … Y’know, dude, there are some people out there who think that government agencies are bummers by definition. But the government doesn’t usually go out of its way to announce the fact. Sounds like some Beltway Bandit wasn’t payin’ attention to his drivin’.”

“That might depend on who you’re talkin’ to, dude.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Y’see, the BOEMRE used to be the MMS. The Minerals Management Service. Which, from some accounts, really was providing a service. A few drinks, a few dancing girls, a few cheesy drilling permits for exploding offshore oil wells …”

“A few gazillion dead pelicans …”

“Well, dude, ain’t gonna be no service no more. Management. Regulation. Enforcement. Turn out the lights, the party’s over. A bummer for the oil companies. Eh?”

“Dude?”

“Yeah?”

“You idiot!

“Wha …”

“You think the oil tycoons are gonna take this lyin’ down?”

“I should think, dude, that with a gazillion dead pelicans out there, most of ’em would by lyin’ low right now …”

“Right. And in a year or two, who the hell do you think’s gonna remember a one of them birds, when gasoline hits $10 a gallon, not a drop of which is coming from the USofA, and the oil companies can all point to the White House and its new bully boys and scream ‘They did it!’ Huh?

BOEMRE, dude!”

“Duh …”

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2010 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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Responses

  1. I can live with gas at $10/gallon, but how expensive are pelicans gonna be?

    • By my math, Dawg, about $7 a gallon. Besides, you and I may be able to live with gas at 10 clams a gallon, but I don’t think Obama can. Limbaugh and Palin, now … [shudder].

  2. I do hate to think where it’s all going — hadn’t heard of BOEMRE yet.

    *sigh*

    • I guess it was brand new yesterday, Susan. Besides, you’ve been a tad busy. Wonder how long the agency’s name will stick, given its, ah, unfortunate acronym. Of course, this eeensy leetle blog won’t have any impact on that.

  3. i can live with gas being 7 or 10 bucks a gallon…
    force me to walk or ride a bike

    how bad can that be?
    it can only help me…

    • Can’t say you’re wrong, sis. You might want to ramp up that victory garden while you’re at it. At $10 a gallon, won’t be all that many fruits and veggies truckin’ in from Ecuador …

      • oh! i have my garden!
        planning to ramp manana

  4. Bicycle? Amoeba, my love, you might want to take out life insurance on me …..

    • Well, Q, at least when we take the car here, it’s not like we’re standing still for hours on the (ahem) Interstate in Honolulu …


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