Originally posted by O Ceallaigh on the discontinued blog Felloffatruck Publications, 5 May 2007. Reposted here, with updates, in support of a retrospective currently ongoing at the Dude & Dude site.
There’s a myth out there, and an evil myth it is, that one can assess the value of a hotel by the number of stars it’s given by this or that reviewing site.
Bogus. Forget it. It’s all mirrors.
You think I’m kidding??
Think about it. You go to one of these cheap motels. They might leave the light on for you, but you’ll have a hard time shaving by it, ’cause it’s not bright enough for you to see anything in the semi-polished frying pan bottom that they pretend is a mirror.
Pay a little more, and you might find the mirror in your room. Not least ’cause they surround it with all these little vanity lights, making you think that there’s more mirror there than there actually is.
This place? Crikey! The room rent would feed all the Sidewalk Sunday School kids in Las Vegas for a month. The bathroom is larger than the house I grew up in. And there are mirrors everyplace!!
OK, I’ll grant you, if you’re going to stay at a place like this of your own volition, you can’t have any particular difficulties in the ego sufficiency department. But does that have to extend to staring at yourself everywhere you go? Especially in the bathroom?
I mean, really. Will you please tell me what’s the thrill in facing a full-length mirror when you’re standing in front of a urinal??
Besides. If you can afford a place like this, usually you weren’t born yesterday. There’s typically a little mileage on the corpus, not to mention evidence of hard or unwise living. Maybe you, dear reader, can get to the age of wisdom, and hotels with mirrors, and still have the reflections smile at you. Me? Believe it, this amoeba ain’t showing up on the cover of GQ anytime soon. And any fantasies about doing so were dispelled 10 milliseconds after confronting that wall of mirrors. I just hope they survive the shock of receiving the photons reflected from my shape. I can’t pay any repair bills.
I suppose I should count my blessings. At least there’s not a mirror over my bed.